"And the sign said..."
by Mikel K

I wanted to take the dogs down by a river. I knew that there would be one that girlfriend would know about up here in the country. We drove down long, quiet roads. On one of them, we took a left. Large, newer, expensive houses dotted this country road. We got to a place where you could see the river. Girlfriend said, "awww fooey."

There was a sign that said "members only." The "members" had claimed the only place along the river where you could look at it, where you could walk down and stand next to it, the only place where you could touch it.

"We used to come here when we were kids," said girlfriend. "You didn't have to be a member then."

She undid the backdoor to the vehicle and let the two dogs out. The three of them headed onto members only turf. I followed with a couple of tennis balls. I threw the balls to the dogs, while girlfriend acted like she was a kid again. She splashed in the water. She picked up a pinecone and a flat rock. "Look, look," she said, "I'm swinging!!" She had found an old kudzu vine to grab ahold of and play with.

As we were leaving, the older dog wouldn't come right away. He sauntered to about mid-members only turf, squatted down and lay down the biggest turd of his life. I looked at girlfriend and she looked at me. We left the turd for the members.